Lessons in Happiness


Guest Post

“And they lived happy ever after.” The End.

Isn’t that what we are taught as children, you find your prince or princess or save the kingdom and everyone lives happy for ever.

Is that really possible, can you live forever happily?  Why not? I believe we can but I am not convinced it is a single act or something you do or achieve that means you are instantly happy forever.

Some people like to label you as a glass half empty or glass half full person which I guess can show the kind of person you are. Personally, I am grateful for the glass no matter how full or empty it may be! And that for me is a very key difference, once you understand the fundamental basics that you alone are in control of your happiness then it can be a game changer.

Lesson 1 – Happiness is a choice.

Happiness is a skill you learn, tweak, practise and get better at. Some people have a natural flair always looking on the bright side, always finding the silver lining and others have to read about it, learn the hard way, start with just a little knowledge and build on it.

Happiness really is a choice that only you can choose for yourself. If it’s raining outside do you choose to moan about the rain or dance in it.

Practise each day, remind yourselves of what happiness is and work hard to consciously feel happy.

Lesson 2 – Understanding what Happiness means to you?

For you to truly CHOOSE happiness then I think it’s important that you recognise what happiness IS and ISN’T.

Happiness is a combination of enjoyment, contentment, gratitude, feeling safe, positivity and much much more.

For me, if I visualise how ‘happy’ feels it’s that ‘hug in a bowl’ kind of feeling. Your soul is all snuggled up warm, you feel calm on the inside, safe, smiling, inspired and optimistic. You are grateful for every ounce of that feeling.

Like the ‘chicken soup’ for the soul kind of feeling.

Even if you find happiness in the noisiest of places, it’s the moments when noise disappears and you feel silence inside.

That’s happiness to me. Do you know what happiness looks and feels like to you?

Lesson 3 – Happiness requires you to make consistent conscious effort each day.

It doesn’t take a lot to increase some one’s happiness, and it really doesn’t take anything more than consistency and repetition in order to increase your own happiness.  

As a life coach, I help women to understand how to include more practises in their daily routines that allow them to uplift their happiness levels. Happiness tools for me are practises like meditation, gratitude journals, listening to podcasts, watching motivational videos etc… By continuing to do these activities consistently over time the feeling of happiness and making happier choices will come more naturally to you.

Check out a link to a 10 Day Choose Happiness challenge I created for more inspiration right now.

girls on beach holiday jumping

Lesson 4 – Happiness is infectious.

Laughter is infectious! Have you ever got caught up in someone else’s giggling fit so much you cannot help but giggle? The giggle becomes a laugh and then before you know it a full room is rolling on the floor laughing out loud.

Think of happiness like this, a giggling fit you don’t want to resist.

Sometimes other people’s attitudes can affect us and hold us back though and you need to be prepared for these scenarios.

Imagine this, you wake up really positive. You are happy, optimistic and motivated. You walk into a room with only negative speaking people who struggle to see positivity and get irritated by your happiness.

Has that happened to you? Maybe it was just one person? What do you do?

Well it has happened to me and over the years it has taken a lot of work and effort to focus on the positivity and to not let the negativity get to me.

I want you to visualise speech like a smoke coming out of a person. If they are talking negatively, moaning etc… then give it a black colour. If it is a happy conversation then its white or clear even.

By visualising this it can help to recognise whether you should allow the conversation to affect or choke you. Remember you are in control of how you react to the happenings around you which includes whether you join in the negativity, try to turn the conversation around or let it go.

Lesson 5 – How you react to the people and world around is within your control.

“Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life”. Unknown.

This quote is so impactful when you consider the meaning. You are responsible for your own happiness and whilst others can have a positive and negative impact on us it’s us down to you how much power you allow that person to have.

We are not in control of what happens in the world, we cannot control what others do BUT we can control how we react to their actions.

And finally,

I am sure by now you have heard the saying that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I truly believe in this and I will tell you why. As with lesson 4, when you spend time with negative people you start to reflect their attitudes and behaviours in the same way if you surround yourself with only happy, joyful people then you are most likely to recognise joy and positivity more.

I was talking to a client who was REALLY struggling, she had only ever been a positive person and when we first had a session together she quickly let down her guard and off-loaded her current sad mindset. She had destroyed a new relationship before it even got started by listening to her friends who were perpetually negative about men. “He is too good to be true” “he is that same as your ex”. Which may or may not be true but at that point he had shown no real signs of it. However, given she had chosen to surround herself mostly with this same circle of friends at that time then she started to reflect their behaviours, thoughts and attitudes onto this new guy. I don’t need to really say that he turned and ran (metaphorically speaking).

Her mindset which was once bubbly and positive had now been replaced with that of essentially her circle of friends and her family. I asked her who the 5 people that she spent the most time with and she named them. And when I explained the theory of the 5 people you spend the most time with well, she cried. She sat back quietly. She got really upset and just looked at me like this light bulb went off. After about 60 seconds she said “oh my god. You are so right. Its only since I have been spending more and more time with them that I have felt like this. I was always the positive one but it’s just so hard”

She felt lost, my advice to her was simple. Increase your tribe and engage with like-minded positive people. Make an effort each day to consider your choices and make sure you are consciously aware that how you react and how you treat people is within your control. I walked through each of these 5 lessons with her and shared much more techniques specific to her scenario like learning to deflect their negativity and visualise the black smoke filling the air when they talk. Replace it with your own positive energy.

Fast forward a few weeks and her social media profile has dramatically changed. Her photos are of her with different people, having fun, taking vacations and enjoying happiness.

Happiness is a choice. Once you truly realise that and accept it. You can then manifest your own happiness story.

So, I ask you a simple question, what is happiness to you?

Inspirationally, Always,


Life Coach & Blogger

If you like this, you may also be interested in this

Get post alerts :


Get post alerts :

Reply your comment:

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: